Kisses from Braden

What makes a family? When I was a kid family meant the people that came to you biologically through your parents and grandparents. Mine was pretty big. Mom had four sisters and three brothers. Each of them had at least two and as many as five kids. My three siblings and I have 23 cousins. Never a dull moment for the Toll clan during our many gatherings at Grandma and Grandpa’s house or a park for a huge picnic.

My family is a bit smaller {for now} than Grandma’s. We have five kids, three of whom have started their own families.

Kisses from Braden

Ethan & Maddie being goofySome of our kids’ friends would automatically call me Mom when they first met me. I’d allow it but often asked them to call me Debbie [or Mrs. Haas if their parents insisted] because I thought it was an honor to be a mom, not an automatic just because I was a friend’s mom. Maddie was different. She started coming around when she and Jae were about 15 and has been a permanent part of our family ever since. I’m Mom to her, now more than ever.

When our daughter Amy married Jeremy he came with an instant son {Josh} to go with Amy’s two daughters {Kirstie and Kyle}.

Our oldest son passed away in 2003 from complications of diabetes. But he left behind an ex {Lori, who still calls us Mom and Dad}, a wife, and two sons.

A few days after Steve died, I told his widow, Nett, “You know, don’t you, that you will always be a part of our family?”  As our daughter-in-law she held a special place in our hearts, but since then, she has become a true daughter to Dave and me and sister to Amy, Nick, Jae, and Robyn.

A few of the 13

Reading to ShelbyAlmost five years ago Nett was ready to start dating again when she met Jon, who has been an enormous blessing to our family! Right away we could tell that he loved Steve and Nett’s son Chris as much as he loved Nett. When they married, we counted Jon as our son-in-law. This past summer Jon legally adopted Chris, giving him a new last name, but never forgetting Chris’s roots.

In the past two years, Jon and Nett have also given us two new grandchildren; Shelby in 2009 and Braden in 2010. These treasures, including Josh and Lori’s son Jonathan, are indistinguishable from the other gems in our storehouse.

So...what makes a family?

 Blood and DNA are only a small part of the definition for us. More important are the spiritual bonds we feel when God places someone in our life that fits as well as any genetic match.

SEP SoCal 2011

Dave and I decided this was the year to give back to the Spiritual Enrichment Program that has nurtured our children and grandchildren since the 1990s. Honestly....the idea of spending a week with energetic children that are pumped up and full of the Holy Spirit was daunting to say the least. But when we were offered the opportunity to serve as "Dorm Parents" we knew the time was right to dive in.
This year's camp theme was Rooted {in Christ} an though the kids range in age from 8 to 18......WOW! THEY GET IT! Each chapel, debriefing session, and dorm meeting touches on the fact that our lives ~spiritual and physical~are like the life of a tree. We both start as a small seed. We need air, food, and water to nourish us. Each of these elements has a spiritual counterpart. We need the air of God's breath calling to and speaking to us, the food found in our (ideally) daily reading of God's word, and the water of the Holy Spirit flowing through us, washing us clean and spreading out to touch those we meet. As I listen to the kids talk about the message after chapel I am astounded by their level of understanding and how they either have or plan to implement these ideas in their communities when they return home. They want to share the messages, to {re}present Christ and the hope and perfect peace that can be found in Him.
Another thing I am impressed with is the rule system here. Mark and Anne, the SEP SoCal directors, manage to have fair rules regarding dress and safety without being legalistic. They teach and lovingly enforce modesty for both genders. While at camp some of the boys have thanked Pastor Mark for the dress code, telling him it gives them a greater opportunity to really see the girl for who she is, learn about her personality, and hear what she's saying, without the distraction of her cleavage vying for his attention. And the girls have said that it's nice to have the guys look them in the eyes during a conversation instead of them staring at her chest.
SEP also breaks the stereotype non-believers have about being a Christian kid. These kids have FUN! Archery, Bunko, challenge course, drumming, insects and snakes, drama, dance class.....and so much more. There are a few highlights that surpass even these activities. The Senior Camper Dance on Wednesday night {Get Jiggy Wid It} filled, like any teen gathering, with loud music, laughter, and energetic (though decidedly NOT dirty) dancing. These folks know how to enjoy themselves without hangovers or regrets.
There's so much more going on here...the tireless effort of the volunteers, the counselors who use their vacation time and pay their own way to camp to share God's love, the band that plays sometimes three times a day to lead the kids in musical worship....
Yep~
God is good.....All the time!

                                               T, Kyle, and Papa Dave waiting for check in

                                                All checked in. Kyle's a happy camper....



                                                                            ....so is T.

                                                           Chris and Josh ready for chapel.

                   One of my jobs was hanging with Jax while Amy taught a photography class.


                        

                                                                  T at dance class.



                                                             Free style time at the dance...


                                                                  The SEP Shuffle.




                                                          Counselor (& Great Friend!)Kat





 A suprise revealed while we were there! Grandbaby 13 is on {her} way!



                       Dorm Parent/Dining Hall Monitor Dave ready for battle ~paintball!~ with the kids.





                                                                     That was fun!



              Final Chapel. A bittersweet morning. After a taste of heaven they are ready for home to
                                                    share what they've learned.....\



                                                       Home again.....nursing a migraine.
                                           I'm already looking forward to SEP SoCal 2012!

Saturday with Owen and Jaxon, Part 2

Lunch time...
Feeding the grandkids used to be a challenge for me. I usually avoid wheat, (except when we make sour dough bread) dairy, and packaged foods. I have found I feel a lot better when I keep my diet more “natural”. I used to try to feed the kids “My Way” but that resulted in hungry kids. And a hungry kid is often a cranky kid. Not a good thing to associate a visit to Grandma’s with. So I have made a few compromises. I buy chicken nuggets, softer bread, white tortillas, and even some sweets {horrors!} but I draw the line at Kraft Mac and Cheese and Trix. Lunch on Saturday was chicken nuggets, sliced apples, and almond milk [they even drink that at home]. As I carried his lunch to the living room, Jax looked up at me and began to cry, “Mommy...Mommy....”
I kneeled next to him, wrapping my free arm around his shoulder. “Remember, Mommy’s bye-bye. She’ll be back for you at ni-night time.”
Sniffle, sniffle...
“Do you want to eat first or take a nap first?”
Instead of answering with a word, he wiggled out of my loose hug and walked to meet Owen on the blanket.
We watched Despicable Me while the boys had a carpet picnic. Jax ate slowly, sometimes sliding the catsup-dipped nugget into his mouth by way of his cheek. After a full morning this little fellow was tired. After lunch, and a swipe across his face with a damp cloth, he snuggled next to me on the sofa and within minutes was fast asleep. He stayed that way for three hours!

While Jaxon napped, it was time for Owen and Grandma Time. Like all good employees, he deserved a break from his labors. Owen chose to play WiiFit. {I really need to find a few more Wii games suitable for the younger set.} Owen’s favorites are the balance games. He particularly likes the Tilt City game and delights in dropping the balls into the wrong cups! [If you want to hear a most infectious laugh, team up with him on that one!] He also likes the Obstacle Course and Bird’s-eye Bull’s-eye, where you flap your arms to make your Mii fly over an ocean with scattered targets to land on.

Jax woke from his nap, surprisingly pleasant {not asking for Mom as I expected}, and hungry again. Snack time was smoothie time! A great snack for the kids to help make. I pulled out the frozen fruits {buy bunches of ripe bananas, peel, cut into chunks, lay out in a single layer in a Ziploc & pop into the freezer} and started filling the blender canister. In went strawberries, blueberries and bananas. Then I covered it all with orange juice. “Well, I think I don’t want a smoothie” from Owen. I learned he didn’t like the bananas and orange juice in his smoothies. We poured off the oj, dug out the bananas, and poured in some “soy-o milk”. That’s how Owen likes his smoothies so that’s how Jax wanted his, too. Yummy!

More playing outdoors, dinner, a change into jammies, and another movie {Tangled, Jax’s current favorite} and it was time for the boys to go home. When Jax saw his mom, you could see his body relax with a “Grandma was right!” and a {BIG} SMILE!

Yep, I’d do it again, with or without Owen’s help....but I’d rather do it with!

Saturday with Owen & Jaxon Part 1

On Saturday Amy and her family went to Hollywood to see the new Pirates movie. It would have been an exhausting day for Jax so we planned for him to spend the day at Grandma Debbie’s. Having a toddler here by himself all day was a daunting idea. I can only be interesting for so long to someone so short. My grandma’s words rang in my ears “Kids always do better in even numbers.”

I invited Owen to spend the day here to “Babysit” Jax with me. By the time Amy returned, I knew that I could not have done this as easily without Owen. Owen took his job very seriously. He played with Jax and guided him from room to room or to the patio where they played some more. When Jax tried to pick a tomato, Owen gently told him no.
We had a mighty full day, beginning with sweeping the patio...a never ending job because of the pepper trees surrounding our yard. I’ve always felt that when the grandkids come over its fine for them to help around the Haasienda with some of the maintenance. Most of the time they enjoy the helping as much as the playing!

Next, we painted. Owen is quite an artist and I think the pre printed pictures in the water color painting book held him back a little. When he starts on a plain piece of paper magical things happen....ducks in ponds, rainbows, and pleasure in his work.

After the boys and I cleaned up their paintings and set them to dry in the sun (Owen’s idea)we headed to the front hallway.
My house was built in 1953 {we’re the same age!} and has a few really cool features not found in modern homes. Instead of a linen closet in the front hall we have a built in bureau chest of drawers. Since there have always been kids in the house, one drawer has always been dedicated to kids’ games. Now that there aren’t as many of us living here {only four, compared to a high of ten} we don’t need as many sheets and blankets. That freed up a drawer so I {again} copied my own grandma and dedicated one to toys.

Owen and Jax found several balls to take outside for more play time, till lunch was ready.

To Be Continued

Hanging with Zeke

Monday evening Marisa brought Zeke over to hang out while she lined up the Ketchum family near our yard and shot them. Don’t cringe. The Ketchums are my daughter Amy and her family ~ husband Jeremy, daughters Kirstie and Kyle, and sons Josh and Jaxon ~ so it’s perfectly fine for Marisa to shoot them.

Did I mention that Marisa is a professional photographer? So is Amy, but she can’t shoot her own family very easily, so she asked Marisa to do the honors. {Gotta say....another of my daughters, Annette, is also a professional photographer but she’s in Irvine so Amy didn’t ask her.}

Back to Zeke... He’s almost one now and starting to toddle. He’s also honing many other big boy skills like feeding himself with a spoon, waving Bye-Bye, and throwing.

His dad, my son Nick, was an excellent thrower. By the time he was three we thought he would somehow find a way to turn it into a money-making occupation before he was old enough for a worker’s permit. At least twice a day I had to tell him, “Man, if you have to throw something please go down to the corral and throw rocks!” {There weren’t any horses in the corral so it was quite safe.} Nick finally out grew his pre-occupation with throwing when he was five and started a new habit....walking on his hands, but I’ll save that for another time.

Back to Zeke....again.... It was just past dinnertime and nearing bedtime when he arrived so he wasn’t quite his usual chipper self. I dug around the toy drawer and found some balls for him to play with. Maddie was here and joined Zeke on the floor to play “catch”. At 11 months old, Zeke’s got a great aim! He can throw a ball right to you more than half the time.

Play time lasted more than half an hour before he realized, with a heartbreakingly cute lower lip pout, that Mom wasn’t here. His last 10 minutes were spent in Grandma’s lap with occasional lusty wails. But as soon as Mom walked it he was happy again.

Even when they’re crying, I’m happy to spend time with these treasures the Lord has added to my life!

Sunday Dinner

Sundays are Family Dinner day. For us, that can mean as many as 30 people or as few as two, on those rare occasions that it’s just me and Dave for a cozy dinner. That only happens about once a year.

We gather here at the Haasienda, at Nick and Marisa’s house, or at Amy and Jeremy’s. Sometimes Nick dons his Jocko’s apron and grills {his chicken is out of this world!}, or Jeremy will cook up a mixed grill, and sometimes the women cook. Every so often we order take out. But we are all together as often as possible.

{Let me get this out of the way ~ Dave and I are happily married and share the Haasienda, but for some reason the kids have always called this “Mom’s house” so that’s what we call it too. I think they’ll be calling it Mom’s house long after I die.}

Tonight all the locals came to my place. That’s just over half the family. Even Maddie showed up! She’s Jae’s True Friend and one of our honorary daughters. There was plenty of horsing around and lots of noise! I even got to see Zeke take a few tentative steps. It won’t be long till he’s running outside with the others!

Left to right ~ Zeke, Kyle, Josh, Owen, Ethan, Kirstie, Jax

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ethan and Maddie being goofy

For dinner I made Girl Scout Tacos. I can hear you thinking, “What in the world are Girl Scout Tacos?” Well, I’m glad you asked!

Brown a pound of ground beef with some taco seasoning. When the meat is cooked all the way, throw in two or three cans of refried beans and mix it up really well until it’s nice and hot. Put a few scoops of this on top of some tortilla chips you’ve spread out on a plate and top with your favorite taco fillings ~ cheese, tomato, onion, lettuce, avocado or guacamole, maybe some salsa and sour cream. I more than doubled this tonight.

For dessert, Amy made Monkey Bread. If you want the recipe let me know and I’ll ask her. It's a gooey confection that is definitely not in the health food realm. Heck, it’s not even on the same planet as health food! But everyone seems to like it....

Gardening with Jax

Jax came over this morning to hang out with me and Papa while his mom and Aunt Marisa met for coffee....ALONE! They don’t get an opportunity like that very often.

Jax loves anything that grows from the ground. Today we planted some herb and veggie seedlings I bought yesterday. We put some into pots and few into the raised bed garden. I am not much of a gardener. I hoped that it was in my genes because my grandpa was a farmer in Missouri before moving to LA in the Dirty Thirties (AKA the dust bowl). On his double city lot on Century Blvd he raised flowers, fruits, and veggies and even kept rabbits. {I found out the hard way at dinner one night when I was three what the rabbits were really for.}

Unlike my grandpa’s green thumb, mine is brown but I am ever optimistic that something will grow! I am hoping that my grandkids will be able to see where some of their food comes from as our plants grow. But even if my garden fails {again} at least we have had some fun outside playing in the dirt!